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If you wait for the perfect time to look after yourself, you might be waiting a while…

18 May 2021 By Victoria Smith Leave a Comment

What are your daily non-negotiables?

I think of these as the things we do every day, that are so habitual, we don’t even think about doing them. They are often done on autopilot and a day usually doesn’t go past without doing them. Things like brushing our teeth, taking a shower, eating three meals a day and getting dressed in the morning. 

But, what about the other things that we could be doing to look after ourselves? And why is it that, when life gets busy, the things that get neglected are the things that will help us weather the storm and build health resilience?

Good health is a series of investments but, for some time now, I have been withdrawing more than I have been putting back in.

Now, I do realise that with two young children, running a business from home and a 5-month-old puppy thrown into the mix, life is busy. I am also totally aware that we are surrounded by ‘perfect’ photos on Instagram of people who seemingly have their lives altogether. And although deep down, I know this is far from reality, it is so easy to feel dissatisfied when we don’t measure up.

But more than that, for some time now, I have realised that there is something missing.

For ages, I couldn’t quite work out what it was.

Then this week, I suddenly realised that what was missing, was me.

Where do I fit into all the busyness of my life? Am I just a passenger or do I have some control over the journey and the destination?

So, I asked myself the following questions:

Q1. What are my non-negotiables, even when life is very hectic? 

A – Brushing my teeth twice a day, having a shower, getting dressed and eating three meals a day. These things happen however busy I am.

Q2. What would I like to do every day to support my health as a minimum on top of this? 

A – Daily exercise, writing in my journal and 10 minutes of meditation

Q3. What benefits would doing these things daily bring to my life?

A – Better mental health, less stress, more resilience and a stronger feeling of being connected to myself

Q4. What do I need to do to prioritise these things, so that they don’t get neglected?

A – Value my own needs and health, remember how much better I feel when I do them and don’t wait for the perfect time to do them, just do them anyway.

It’s important to remember that life is always going to busy and waiting for the magical moment when change suddenly appears, is simply not going to happen. Using this strategy, I think we will be waiting a while.

This is where we can go wrong. We often feel that we must wait until we have the time and the perfect set of circumstances to do something before we can start doing it. But the problem with this is, unless you make the time, your health and wellbeing never become prioritised and can easily get neglected.

With this I mind, I have started to think about all the pockets of time I waste in a day. I quickly came up with seemingly innocent activities like scrolling on my phone, getting caught up in emails and over-committing to things in my week. But, when I added it all up, this can take up a lot of time each day.

Over the past few days, I have started changing my viewpoint around this. I am now trying to see the things that are important to me as non-negotiables, rather than just a luxury to do when I have the time. 

I’m not saying it’s easy but, by reminding myself that things do not need to be perfect before I do them, it helps me to just do them anyway. 

I am trying to find little pockets of time throughout my day. For example, 2 minutes of mediation while I am making a cup of tea or writing in my journal when I have a spare 10 minutes in between zoom calls. It’s not perfect, but it does means that I have been able to add the things that are important to me into my day. 

So, I invite you today to think about what your daily non-negotiables are and then decide what are the extra things you would like to add into your day to support your health and fertility? For example, how would exercising daily, adding in some yoga or a morning walk in your local park or woods make a difference to your health? 

Remember, if it’s important to you, then only you can make it a priority. 

Take it one step at a time. You’ve got this x

 

Filed Under: Nutritional Therapy

About Victoria Smith

My name is Victoria Smith. I’m a Registered Nutritional Therapist & Health Coach, and I’m passionate about helping people take control of their health in small achievable steps.

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It’s amazing that women and men are now beginnin It’s amazing that women and men are now beginning to talk about the perimenopause
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For too long it’s been swept under the carpet, ignored or worse, made fun of.
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The perimenopause is like the rebellious younger sister of the menopause.
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It is a stage in a women’s life where you are still having periods, but you may start noticing they are becoming irregular and other symptoms start appearing. This can start as early as 35.
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The menopause is only one day and marks the one-year anniversary since your last period. The average age is 51. 
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So, what are some of the symptoms of the perimenopause?
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•. Irregular cycles and changes to menstrual flow
•  Depression and anxiety
•  Rage 
•  Joint and muscle pain
•  Brain fog
•  Poor memory and concentration
•. Vaginal dryness and painful sex
•. Insomnia
•  Night sweats or hot flushes
•  Low bone density 
•  Panic attacks
•  Headaches and migraines
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The list is endless! And it is estimated that 13 million women in the UK are either perimenopausal or postmenopausal.
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If you are experiencing any of these symptoms and are in your late 30s onwards, you could well be in the perimenopause.
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The first port of call should be your GP. But the menopause is more than just about oestrogen and there is a lot you can do naturally to support yourself through this stage. 
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When you make simple changes to your diet and lifestyle, so that you balance your blood sugar, support your digestion and reduce stress levels in your life, amazing things start to happen.
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You go from feeling exhausted, foggy and irritable to feeling calmer, more energised and more confident in yourself again.
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Send me a DM if you want to know more x
If, like me, you like a glass of wine or two but a If, like me, you like a glass of wine or two but are aware that drinking too much can be harmful for your health, how do you find a happy medium?
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I have had times in my life where I haven’t drunk at all (before and during my two pregnancies and also during a prolonged 10-month break in 2021) and I have times in my life where I found myself drinking more than I should (during 2020).
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Neither is a happy place for me. 
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I enjoy having a glass or two of good quality wine at the weekend and the marking of a different time of the week.
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But I do not enjoy the disrupted sleep, irritability, sugar cravings, weight gain and tiredness that comes with drinking too much.
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Let’s be honest, it is easy for one glass to turn into a bottle and before you know it you're drinking well over the recommended 14 units of alcohol for both women and men a week.
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I would advise keeping it to below 10 units a week.
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So, how can you still enjoy a drink but keep it in hand? Here are my top tips:
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🍷 Get real and track how much you are drinking.  The @drinkaware_trust app is a useful tool for this.
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🍷Plan to have some alcohol-free days. I have at least 4 a week.
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🍷 Buy yourself a special small wine glass. This is absolutely key to keeping on top of how much you are drinking at home. I have one that is 140mls, so it is a good size for a small 125mls glass of wine. 
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🍷Learn to savour each mouthful and slow down. 
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I often have a couple of small glasses on a Friday and Saturday night and then possibly the odd glass on a Sunday. I don’t drink Monday to Thursday.
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This is just over 8 units a week. It may not be for everyone, but for me feels like a happy medium and realistic in the longterm.
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What are your strategies to keep your alcohol intake in hand? I'd love to hear x
For two years after I had my second daughter, I th For two years after I had my second daughter, I thought I was going mad. 
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I was a mum to a toddler in my mid-40s and I was supposed to be tired, right?
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But this was different
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I was so forgetful
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It wasn’t just things like where my keys were or forgetting friends’ birthdays or what I had walked into a room for
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It was more that it didn’t even cross my mind to remember things. Almost as though parts of my brain were missing
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On many occasions I worried that this might be the beginning of early onset dementia.
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What I realise now is that I had brain fog, which is a common symptom of the peri-menopause
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At the time it didn’t cross my mind that I might be peri-menopausal. Wasn’t the menopause something that happened in your 50s and was all about hot flushes, insomnia and night sweats?
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Brain fog is a common symptom caused by declining oestrogen and testosterone levels. Add in increased levels of the stress hormone cortisol, which also has a negative effect on memory and brain function and you get a perfect storm in your mid-40s. 
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So, what did I do about it? I tweaked my diet, added in more rest and took the right supplements to help support my memory and brain function. 
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And now, my brain fog has lifted. I feel clearer, less anxious about it and more myself again.
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For many women HRT may also be a good option and the first port of call is to go and talk to your GP. But there is a lot you can do alongside this to support the peri-menopause. 
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I am excited to be running a new small group programme called Sail Through the Perimenopause starting on Thursday 9th June. 
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This is for you if you would like support to have more mental clarity, energy and confidence. 
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Send me a DM if you want to know more x
There is so much in the news at the moment on the There is so much in the news at the moment on the menopause thanks to @davinamccall 
 
Finally, this important area of health is getting airtime
 
Women’s midlife hormones are no longer the butt of jokes
 
And people are now understanding that the symptoms of brain fog, anxiety and loss of confidence are real and distressing for millions of women.
 
This is an area I am passionate about
 
Supporting women to rebalance their midlife hormones
 
Teaching them to make simple tweaks to their nutrition
 
Guiding them on how to look after themselves better
 
Helping to bring themselves back to life
 
When they begin to prioritise themselves for the first time in years
 
The changes can be extraordinary
 
Take my client who went from feeling overwhelmed, anxious and that she couldn’t cope to feeling on top of things, more relaxed and more present with her family.
 
Or my client who went from feeling worn-out and unimportant to feeling that she was nourishing herself for the first time in years, feeling more connected to the joy in her life and enjoying time being active with her family.
 
Or my client who went from feeling anxious and that she was no longer herself and a passive spectator in her life to feeling calmer, happier and more energised to live her life fully.
 
It is easier than you think to feel better, calmer and more yourself again.
 
Send me a message if you would like my help too
 
I am here when you are ready x
How to overcome the fear of failure around change How to overcome the fear of failure around change and move forwards in your life
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